


Sweet apocalypse

by thetimeisnow



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: I just had to get some feelings out, Light Angst, Love Confession, M/M, Reunion, S3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-23 05:31:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18147725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetimeisnow/pseuds/thetimeisnow
Summary: My dear Lucas,It’s hard to breathe. Maybe because it’s raining so much, maybe because it hurts. I’m standing where we first kissed wishing I could turn back time and tell you everything I didn’t say.I’m sorry for letting you down, I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for scaring you, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I’m bipolar. I was so scared of losing you and now I have. It’s my fault.Maybe it’s not possible for someone like me to be loved. With you, I forget that we’re all just alone in our own mind forever, I forget we can’t lose someone, because in the end, we are all alone.Lucas, in every other universe, we’re together forever.I love you.Eliott.





	Sweet apocalypse

**Author's Note:**

> I just needed some closure after this terrible day in this fandom, so this happened. enjoy, I hope? ♡

_ My dear Lucas,  _

_ It’s hard to breathe. Maybe because it’s raining so much, maybe because it hurts. I’m standing where we first kissed wishing I could turn back time and tell you everything I didn’t say. _

_ I’m sorry for letting you down, I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for scaring you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I’m bipolar. I was so scared of losing you and now I have. It’s my fault. _

_ Maybe it’s not possible for someone like me to be loved. With you, I forget that we’re all just alone in our own mind forever, I forget we can’t lose someone, because in the end we are all alone.  _

_ Lucas, in every other universe, we’re together forever.  _

_ I love you. _

_ Eliott.  _

 

Lucas hands were trembling. Shaking. It was a miracle his phone hadn’t fallen through his unsteady fingers yet. He stood in the doorway, his father honking from the dark car outside. He read the message again. One time. Two times.

Three times.

Lucas couldn’t move. He tried to get his body to work with him, put the phone back in his pocket and carry on what he had convinced himself was the best choice right now; go with his father and be a good son. He swallowed thickly, heartbeat pounding so hard in his chest he thought it was going to claw its way out. His vision was starting to blur, all he could see, all he wanted to see, was Eliott’s silhouette standing in the rain, arms hanging down his side, eyes closed and head tilted towards the open, pouring sky. If he was crying, the rain hid his tears.

Every feeling he had felt the past week seemed to be rushing down his spine all at once. The hurt, the pain, the endless aching in his chest. The anger, the fury, the tears of confusion slowly running down his cold cheeks. The heartbreak, the hopelessness, the melancholic emptiness filling every small task he had to get through.

He had tried once, calling Elliott. It was after he told him to stop texting him drawings and it took days of convincing from his friends; Yann clenching his hands on his shoulders as Lucas pressed the  _ unblock  _ button next to Eliott’s name on his phone, and then let his finger hover over the screen, earning a glance from Arthur. He held his phone against his ear in a grip tight enough a part of him was scared he’d break the phone in half. Eliott didn’t pick up. In fact, he clicked the call away. A few moments later, his phone beeped and an unknown number texted him. “ _ Stop trying to contact him /Lucille.” _

It was the first time he cried in front of all his friends. 

His father honked again, waving his arm out the window, shouting something that couldn’t be heard above the thundering sky. Lucas swallowed and put his phone back in his pocket.

It wasn’t worth it. He was just going to get hurt again and again and again and Lucille said it herself. Eliott didn’t love him. He stepped out in the rain and rushed over to the safety and warmth of the black car. Swinging the door open, he greeted his father with a forced smile. Smiling was hard nowadays.

“What’s up?” 

Lucas looked up, meeting his father’s eyes through the rear mirror. “Nothing.”

“If you didn’t want to go you could’ve just said so.”

Right. So his melancholic body language wasn’t going to go unnoticed. He was too tired to argue with his father now, so he just let out a sigh. “It’s nothing.”

“What about the boyfriend?”

Lucas froze.  _ Shit.  _ After his father, almost a week later, answered his text that he’d bring his boyfriend and questioned if it was all a joke, Lucas hadn’t replied to his text. He was going to, but with everything that happened, it had slipped through his fingers.

“It was a joke”, he hurried, immediately regretting his choice of words. Eliott wasn’t a joke to him.

“Really?” his father questioned as he drove out on the dark road ahead of them, squinting his eyes to see more clear ahead. 

Lucas bit his lip down hard enough to draw blood, doing his best to keep any feeling thinking of Eliott made him feel buried deep inside. “No”, he admitted, “but it’s… we’re done.”

“Aha.” His tone was flat, like it was the most boring conversation he’d ever had. Lucas bit the inner side of his cheek. “What happened?”

He knew his father only asked to try and be nice, but it didn’t bite on him. “It’s fine. It’s all good”, he replied, but his mind immediately started to go through all the reason why it wasn’t, in fact, fine. Like the worst day of his life, standing face to face with Lucille, tears of fear, worry and confusion streaming down his cheeks, and she had told him everything.

As soon as the thought entered his brain, something inside him snapped.  _ His ex girlfriend told me.  _ Lucille, who had never liked him. Lucille, who lost her partner. Lucille, who had absolutely no reason to be nice to him. Lucille, who thought she knew Eliott better than anyone else. Lucille, who in fact didn’t know anything about how Eliott felt. How did she know that, how did she know what Eliott was capable of feeling? Of course she knew he was capable of loving someone, why else would she been in a relationship with him for so many years?

How the living  _fuck_ hadn't he thought about that before? Was he really this fucking blind? The panic started to set in his chest.

His father said something in the front seat, but his mind blurred the words out as he got his phone out of his pocket.

_ I’m standing where we first kissed wishing I could turn back time and tell you everything I didn’t say. _

He stared at the screen.

_ I love you. _

It was a bad idea. Or maybe not? Maybe it was just what he needed. “Stop the car.”

“What?”

“Stop the car!” he was yelling now, heart pumping in his chest, “please!”

His father did as told and leaned back to look at him, confusion written all over his face. Lucas didn’t meet his eyes, nor did he say anything else before almost falling out of the car, stumbling over his own feet.

Lucas ran. He held his phone in a tight grip and ran. The rain was smacking down in his face and he could barely make out the road in front of him but he knew he had to continue.

The streets were empty of most people and he gained a confused look from a couple standing under a bright pink umbrella, waiting out the worst part of the storm. Lucas didn’t care, he couldn’t bring himself to when all he could think of was Eliott’s piercing blue eyes, filled with so much feeling and so much… love. There was no way you could fake something like that.

It was no way you could fake the warmth, the happiness and comfort radiating from his every pore when they were together. The sad, empty look he had when he walked through the door to the mural. Lucas had tried his best to hide how shitfaced nervous he had been when Eliott stepped up next to him, looking down at the colors in front of them.

Lucas still had some color on his neck that he couldn’t get off, a constant reminder of Eliott’s strong hands rimming down his torso, his lips kissing every inch of his body. A constant reminder of how he, without hesitation, kissed him good morning, kissed him good night, loved him in private, loved him in public.

You couldn’t fake that.

The gates were thankfully open as he reached Eliott’s safe place. He squeezed through the tight opening and stopped, carefully listening to anything that could tell him where Eliott was. He could only hear the rain. The bridge was his best bet, he decided.

Eliott was standing almost exactly as he pictured him. Head tilted towards the sky, eyes closed. His hands were out in front of him, just like the scene in  _ Polaris  _ they had recreated the first time they were there. The first time they kissed. Eliott closed his fists slowly, like he was holding someone’s hands.

Like he was holding Lucas’ hands, fingers intertwining. 

Lucas was standing a few meters away, watching his soulmate in silence. Eliott let his hands fall and even though Lucas couldn’t hear it, he could see the sigh as he let his shoulders drop. He opened his eyes and turned around to leave.

Eliott didn’t make it more than half a meter before he noticed Lucas and stopped mid step. They stared at each other for a long time, Eliott’s mouth hanging open in surprise. His eyes flashed with so much emotion Lucas almost had to turn away. There was absolutely no way he was faking this. He didn’t think so only because he was a lovestruck idiot, but also because it was true.

Lucas took a slow step forwards and Eliott mimicked his action. The rain didn’t bother him anymore, not when the love of his life stood in front of him, visibly hurting. Thinking he was alone in the world, thinking no one could love him.

Lucas could. Lucas  _ did. _

This time, he thought, Eliott wasn’t going to stand there alone. He let his hands out slowly, holding them out in front of him. It was stupid, cheesy; but he couldn’t think of any words to say. He had read enough articles about bipolar disorder to know he had to show Eliott how he felt, what he wanted; and this was their way of doing it.

Eliott stared at his hands for a long moment, eyes flickering up and down. Lucas thought he might have made a terrible mistake, but then Eliott raised his hands, holding his palms out against Lucas’. The heat from his body was radiating through their light touch and Lucas had to hold himself back to not just pull him into the biggest hug in the history of hugs.

Not yet.

He shifted slightly, letting their fingers intertwine, tightly. He was never going to let Eliott go ever again. 

Lucas looked up, meeting Eliott’s confused, bright eyes. Even in the dark, they were sparkling. “You’re not alone”, he whispered. 

Eliott breathed in heavily, chest heaving and Lucas’ couldn’t stop himself. He clenched Eliott’s wet jacket, wrapping his hands around his shoulders. Eliott gave in to the hug, letting himself being embraced, being cared for. Lucas felt his arms wrapping around his waist and they stood like that, wrapped together, for a long time.

“I’m sorry”, Eliott mumbled against the soft, wet skin on his neck.

Lucas shook his head because Eliott had no reason to apologize, and pressed soft kiss on his temple, making sure to linger. “I love you”, he replied, because that was the absolute truth.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! if you have anything to say or if you just wanna complain, feel free to leave a comment ♡
> 
> you can find me on tumblr [@thrashton ](http://thrashton.tumblr.com)♡


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